Does anyone regret becoming a nomad?

Hell no! Overall no regrets. Seriously. It’s tough to work through the obstacles. Family, partner, pet, house - I have had all the same issues. Working through the details as you are now, step by step, will help bring clarity. But, I’ve found that the personal growth outweighs the obstacles, and that when you look back the obstacles are really only perceived - there’s a solution for each of them. It’s a personal decision, however. For me, I downsized from 2 houses to 4 boxes, digtized everything, and hit the road. You can always go back. And if you do, the worst that will happen is you will have grown.

Don’t regret it really. But there are times of loneliness. Me and the wife sometimes miss having connections with people who we know well and who know us.

It’s hard to form deep connections while on the road (not impossible though…). We’ve met some people who we became reasonably good friends with. But without hanging out and spending a lot of idle time together, you don’t truly become the best of friends. Plus, if you’re not a ‘resident’ you’ll always have the fact that you’ll leave one day hanging over your head so it perhaps colors your interactions and relationships a little bit.

The lifestyle is incredible, but it can get a bit lonely. You win some, you lose some, I guess.

Slowest reply ever - I appreciate the input and have been mulling around.

Nothing wrong with the current city, it’s more “when I’m 50 will I look back and think, sh*t I really should have travelled while I had the chance?”. Who knows what will happen in the future, a decade ago this was hardly possible, and perhaps a decade from now there will be a lot more competition and not as easy to work from anywhere, or the web won’t exist as we know it etc. Just look at the billion dollar app development industry that didn’t exist a decade ago… things migrate, need to reskill, currencies rise and fall, fuel is low right now and flights are cheaper then ever.

On the most part I’m happy enough with digital communication, I don’t need to physically see someone to feel connected. I know however most people (I don’t want to say “old” but most are ;)) need that. Somehow talking for 2 hrs on the phone is different to 2 hrs talking at a table, so it’s mainly accommodating them.

There’s a lot of stuff, heck, the kitchen alone must have 200 items - crockery, utensils, cooking, placemats, pans, pots etc etc. Built up over years and they all match. It’s simply the financial cost of repurchasing (although selling 2nd hand, can’t buy easily 2nd hand without it being a mishmash of items). However, this isn’t really a large factor in any decision, more a financial implication if it’s decided to come home soon.

Anyway, the house is on the market to rent, tickets (some) have been purchased, so will see what happens! Which is then the next issue, on one hand need to be flexible, on the other hand a small oversight can have large consequences (customs, visas, and we’ll throw “doing things with your unwed partner in Dubai etc” on that list). Hardly to get the balance between going with the flow and having problems from poor planning.

Short reply here, just my 2¢ regarding property concerns…

Do you own your stuff or does it own you?

Put it in storage, rent out your home and try the nomadic lifestyle for a year (yes, you can do it with a pet, it just requires more planning and less impulsive moves). If you find you like the lifestyle and don’t miss your stuff, liquidate it. Otherwise you can always move back home and get your stuff out of storage.

You don’t have to decide what to do with the rest of your life; just decide what to do with the next year.

Interesting post. I wish you luck in your decision making. I can say that it sounds like you desire community. A real community where you have people who care about you, follow up with you and (I can say) will be challenging. But then again, it’s challenging everywhere.

I am between several countries and I’ve built a few different communities. But what I can say is that the people I care for and who care for me the most - are the ones that are the most rooted. The digital Nomad lifestyle is cool but - I think I’m going to go semi-retired soon.

City A and B sound boring for you with limited sights to see. But I can say the same of anywhere I will settle. It will get boring. I think the key with being a Digital Nomad is flexibility. Do you want to see rooted for 6 months and then completely unattached the other 6? Okay… a good starting point is figuring out how to do that.

@Ramblurr

Quite a lot of anxiousness has been work (some things going wrong, and out of my hands - one of those “it’s not technically my fault, but it won’t stop them from suing me, and even though I’d likely win it’s a truckload of trouble + cost anyway” type scenarios). This nomad/not-nomad has just been on-top, we are already going away for 2 months in April/May, so it’d make sense to go nomad off the back of that rather than come back home, then have to head back down. There’s just a lot of factors all coming to a head at once, and people wanting to be accommodated for things yet having no firm dates (and no doubt I’ll be the bad guy in some of my families eyes). I’m generally not too stressed, it’s been rather unusual having trouble sleeping, just a constant tightness in my chest, not very hungry because stomach is churning… Work is probably 90% of it tbh. I’ve downloaded some guided meditation apps so will give that a crack today.

@jonmyers

I’m alright work wise. The main problem is getting my partner more involved so she can handle more tasks. No good if there’s 2 hrs of stuff for her and 8 hrs for me.

We already travelled for 2-3 months last year so have a decent idea. There are definitely things that we fought about, for example she can’t read maps for ****, so I had to plan nearly everything otherwise it was totally disorganised. We both work from home so there’s no problem in regards to being together nearly 24x7 in a small apartment (or shoebox as some are!)

@notanomad

More inclined to stay at home I think, though she seems happy enough to travel around.

Family would want the pet, they’ve had him before when we’ve gone away. The problem is if we come home in 1-2 years, my partner would want him back for sure but I’m not too sure they’d be happy with it, i.e., it’s either “we’ll be back for sure it’s a lease” or “we’ll likely not be back for years, he’s yours”. If I had someones pet for a few years that’s a lot of time, I wouldn’t want to hand them back…

There is nothing wrong with where we are, it’s more “would I regret not travelling for years while I had the chance” (which I may still well have later, but know 100% I do right now).

What does your partner think? A difference of opinion on that is likely to be your biggest regret (I’m assuming, based on your framing of the post that there are no major career implications, which is the other major regret some people have.) And I’d have to ask whether the family really want your pet, or whether it would be kinder to offer it to someone else and say goodbye if you do want to move?

The cost of visiting family/friends should be saved with cost of living differences and rental/sale income from your old house so shouldn’t be a factor if you were to be choose the nomadic route. Nor should you wanting to see them longer than they want to host you.

A permanent move to City B doesn’t seem a real option, based on what you’ve said.
Staying in City A but taking more extended breaks overseas - something you haven’t considered - might be.

There’s a lot of dependencies here.

Main ones:

How do you earn?

How will your income grow?

I think a lot of people tend to forget about the last point, growth and focus on sustaining their lifestyle.

That will only work for so long.

The older you get the more your needs and desires grow.

Your income has to keep up.

The partner is another dependency.

Relationships grow together and apart on the road. It can also be massive source of liability if you are in building mode plus traveling.

I’ve crashed and burned a few times with the bringing a partner on the road thing.

The family thing works itself out.

I’ll be 43 this year and have been at this since the age of 20.

When my mother came down with cancer, the lifestyle afforded me the luxury of being by her side from the moment we found out until the moment she passed.

Things may not have worked out that way if I was locked into the traditional script of what we are supposed to be doing in the US.

I have no regrets so far.

I’ve maintained most of my relationships over the years.

If anything, many of my close peers are quite envious of the position I’m in.

In contrast, I have no envy.

I’m very happy with the life I have.

I can understand your concern and trepidation @acdc.

I want to echo @danmidwood’s advice, in different words: nothing is permanent. None of the choices you make will be permanent. You can always bounce back and recover what you’ve lost (except for things I’ll list below).

You’re approaching it from an all or nothing mindset: Do I go nomad or settle down forever? That dichotomy isn’t real. If you “go nomad” you can always return. You don’t need to sell your belongings and house in the beginning, wait 6 months or a year to make sure you’re comfortable with the nomadic choice.

Even if you sell your belongings and house, you can always buy new ones. But, I hear you counter, at what cost?! What is the cost of not becoming nomadic? In terms of happiness and self-fulfillment. What is the cost of living a life at A or B that you don’t seem to excited about.

The above said, there are a few exceptions, things you can’t get back. You’ll noticed they are all non-material.

1. Time spent with aging or growing family members
2. Companionship of a special pet given away

These are two costs I’ve paid during my years as a nomad. Paid, not easily, but paid nonetheless. And in most cases I’ve been happy with it. Living where my family is would not have contributed to my long-term well being.

Has anyone changed to the nomad lifestyle and found out it wasn’t as good as they thought, and staying put would have been a good option in the end?

I’m sure it has happened, but remember, the dichotomy is false! You can try it out, and if you don’t find that it suits you, return! Don’t let the anxiousness and nervousness eat you up before you actually even make a choice that is totally reversible.

Thanks for the replies!

@wanderingdev

Although more difficult to find people, if we could rent our house out furnished that’d make life a lot easier should we want to come back.

Australia, have 90 or 180 days - from memory it was half the year. It also included factors such as any houses, mail etc - the more ‘setup’ you are the more likely they’ll consider you still living here even if you’re away most the time.

B seems more future-proof, but yes only 1 pro with a lot more cons so it seems the easy loser.

@homakov

If I didn’t want to stay then it’d be a very simple choice! (no choice really, the only real option). Certainly if I was single I’d already be travelling around.

@danmidwood

It does go off-track a bit, it’s a much more condensed version of the pros/cons list I made.

That’s exactly the problem, things are pretty much fine the way they are. On the other hand the longer we stay here the more things there will be to leave behind, so it’s almost as if we don’t start soon we may never. Who knows what the future holds, right now I can make a good income anywhere, in 5 or 10 yrs it may not be the case.

If I was coming back to visit someone for a week to a month would want to stay with them; maximise the amount of time spent together so can stay for as little as possible. There isn’t a reason to come back to Australia at all except for family, I don’t want to rent a place for a month and only see them a few times a week. I would encourage them to join me at times however that would be rather rare so will need to do most of the visiting.

The content of your question doesn’t really match the body.

But, specifically with regard to regrets of becoming a nomad, I’m sure that some people do regret it. But I’d strongly advise against choosing to not-do something because you may regret it. Many of the best things come from taking risks, but so do regrets. I don’t think you can have one without the other.

So, with regard to City A, City B or Nomad. The first two choices seem permanent and with the exclusion of all other choices. You don’t seen particularly passionate about either of them.

You seem unsure about becoming a nomad. And that’s fine, it’s a big scary decision and it’s completely normal to be anxious about it. Put your things in storage if it makes it easier, you can do that and then decide what to do with them later. Your pet, it’s difficult, it’s saying goodbye and that’s something you’d have to accept.

If you go nomad and come back to visit, that’s fine. You don’t need to stay at other peoples’ houses, be reliant on them. Stay in an airbnb, hotel, whatever. If you can be a nomad in other cities then you can still be a nomad in your home city. It’s fine.

It depends on what kind of person and lifestyle you like. You care about your parents and your stuff and OMG even a pet. In no time after becoming a nomad you might regret it and miss your friends/family.

However, if you’re a person like i am, you hate your hometown, your family and have no partner or other roots it’s kind of awesome. There’s a word for it i think “nihilist”

When I first went nomad, I was worried about not liking it and wanting to stop so I was unwilling to give up all the stuff I had because replacing it all would have been very expensive. 6 months later I returned to the US and donated 90% of it keeping just my books and my art collection and a couple heirloom pieces which are now integrated into family member homes.

I don’t regret it at all and would do it again in a heartbeat. If you’re worried about your stuff, put it in storage for a while until you’re sure or rent out your house furnished.

You don’t say where you’re from, but if you’re from the US, watch how long you stay there on visits back. One of the bennies of being a nomad is the break on taxes and you’d lose that if you were in the US for two months unless you establish residence elsewhere.

I would not move to city B. You have no real burning desire to be there so why do it?

Just my $.02