How do you deal with the fear of leaving for the first time?

2 things:

1. This nomad community is very encouraging. It’s encouraging to see other people are doing this and they’re just fine.

2. Remind yourself you can always go back home. So you might as well go on an adventure and see if you like it.

I’m happy for you!

Well personally, I conquered my fear by buying tickets and then waiting too long before I cancelled them so I couldn’t get my money back and was pretty much forced to do it.

It would be weird to not worry when you leave the first time! I remember the first time I left… I was almost (yeah let’s say almost!) crying at the airport and I felt so lonely. Few hours later, the fear was gone, I landed in Slovakia, where I had never been before, and spent the BEST 8 months of my life and never looked back with regrets! As you keep going, the fear fades away.
And now that I am stuck in France, I feel I can’t breath anymore. I can’t wait for the moment when I will book my next one-way-to-wherever ticket.

I’ve never heard about stoicism philosophy then i was leaving, but it appears that i practiced something similar. Before leaving i was practicing different ‘worse case’ scenarios -> eat only raw food for a month, sleep on a floor for a month, not drinking alcohol for a month and etc.

So then time came to move along, i didn’t had a single fear inside me. Just smile on my face.

I bought a one-way ticket back in 1997, and the rest is history. Although I’ve never gone back, I’ve only been a ‘digital nomad’ for 3-4 years. In the early days, I would sometimes wake up disoriented in the night, but it wasn’t a big deal and with time it went away. What has always been most important is how I live my life, and by getting that ticket in 1997 I embarked on a life of my own choosing. It was absolutely the right choice and I have never, ever regretted it.

I am in a similar position, with no business though, but with 2-3 years of runaway money and a complete distaste for my current job (corp finance) and city. I don’t know, the fear is real, especially if you don’t have technical skills to sell, because then you know you are pretty much giving up your carrier for the unknown.

So, I don’t know, yet. I think if you have a plan B and a good soft landing in case the house burns, you should go for it. If not, maybe it’s worth thinking about a plan B.

Said that, the more I stay in my current situation, the more I feel like going without a plan B…

By the way, it would be great to have some “carrier” advise from the community.

Hello Eddie,

I am in a very similar boat , I am also leaving for Chang Mai for the month of Oct , lets connect and share tips, At this time all I have is a plan ticket to BKK and a backpack with a laptop and few clothes

Any suggestion on anything will be very helpful.

Thanks
Dig

I always tell myself that everything is for the best! And it’s always true

Everybody afraid of something they didn’t experience before. Think that if you listen to your fear and doubts and won’t go, you’ll regret all your life, it is a bran new world for you and big amount of new opportunities.

Just do it. I did it and bough a one way ticket to Bangkok in 2014. I remember taking the taxi from BKK to Bangkok everything around me was in Thai (the ads, the signs). I was pretty scared and in shock. I was in a different part of the world, I didn’t speak Thai, nobody could help me, I had no friends near me, no family, no car, nothing. It was only me, my backpack, and my computer. After a week or so I got used to it and the rest is history. I was forced to meet new people in hostels. I become much more independent and social. Now I’m not scared to go anywhere. I can pack my backpack tomorrow and fly to anywhere I want and I know that everything will be ok. Having this sort of feeling makes you feel almost like a super hero. It was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life and it also turned out to be the best year of my life.

I am a little late into this conversation but if it helps, I left my job of 24 years to go travelling round the world. My RTW trip is coming to an end but I am going to be living in Penang for 90 days to see if I like the place, and could cope with working location independently. I do have some freelance work, that I can do remotely, and online, so that helps. When I first left my job I asked myself numerous times, “Are you doing the right thing?” and I came back with the same answer every time. It was the best decision that I have ever made and while I am exhausted from travelling continuously for six months, I can’t wait to settle down somewhere.

Go with your gut instinct, and think to yourself, what is the worst that can happen? You’ll find that there are solutions for any concerns that you have.

Hi Eddie,
When I had to deal with this situation, the thing that helped me the most was asking myself what’s the worse that can happen? The answer was pretty much the same every time- “I won’t like it and i’ll go back home”, not so crazy hey? To be honest, the other option was much scarier- not going and forever wondering “what if”. Going is probably the best choice whether you’d like being a nomad or not (which is okay too), just to get it out of the system.

“More scared of not going” – I can totally relate to that, and to your fear. Sometimes it’s hard to separate a true “danger signal” fear from the a bad case of the jitters. But you’re probably suffering more from not having anyone around who gets it! “Vagabonding” is definitely a book that helped me (“if you’re not enjoying it, you can always go home” – it’s true), as did “Tales of a Female Nomad.” I had traveled abroad alone several times before, but never to Asia-Pacific which felt so far to me – so I also broke my flight into chunks (PHL to LA, LA to Hawaii, Hawaii to Fiji, Fiji to NZ, NZ to Bali, etc)… I hate long flights anyway and I think that helped me a lot with making a transition, rather than just dropping myself into Asia. It also sort of symbolized something that helps me with my fear of heights, especially when hiking on steep, somewhat dangerous terrain as I did in New Zealand: be aware, generally, of where you’re going, but in this moment, only focus on the next step you need to take… and definitely don’t look down or back! I swear it’s the only reason I’m alive because I nearly had a melt-down on that icy mountain!

Just pull the trigger. It’ll all work out.

Honestly - you could board that plane with nothing but your debit card, passport, and the clothes on your back. You’d figure it out when you got there. You’ll still be alive when you disembark. Society still exists.

Have fun!

Actually, you shouldn’t expect fear before a big hungry lion is running after you.
I like to think “fear” is a misnomer that you didn’t choose yourself: let’s pretend it’s excitement, or the urge to do something!

I’ve never regretted all the crazy choices I made. It’s the “reasonable” ones I’ve regretted.

hey man, if you didn’t feel fear, you wouldn’t be doing the right thing. It wouldn’t be an adventure, it would never be the time of your life. It would be just another routine.

Thanks for input! One thing that has really helped is that I’ve reached the point where I’m more scared of not going. I’m so tired of just living day to day in the same city and apartment. I’ve felt more alone than ever because I’m surrounded by people who have bought into the status quo, are materialistic, aren’t doing anything with their lives, or get caught up in petty drama or arguments over the stupidest things.

After college, a lot of my friends have essentially “disappeared.” Some have moved away, others got jobs that consume their life, or are now too busy with their significant other.

I’m just hoping that I can meet more people who believe in the same life values, who want to explore, live life in the moment, and are working on building their own business and wealth. I never felt like I belonged anywhere while growing up, and for the first time (well 3 years ago) I finally felt like I found a lifestyle that fits my personality and life goals. That other people have the same thinking and that for once…I wasn’t alone.

So, maybe it’s not the fear of leaving I’m feeling, but the fear of not following through or failing to sustain the lifestyle that I want. How sad it makes me feel when older people tell me their regrets of not following through with their dreams, how they lost sight of what was important, or how they were led to the belief that traveling is “only for the rich.” How they lived their whole life chained to the system because that’s what they were told to do and couldn’t break out.

But I have my plane ticket and leave in the fall, so I’m ready to do whatever it takes to make this possible and I’m excited for the next chapter of my life.

I had that fear at my first time when I left my comfort zone, but the comfort zone was too boring for me so I had to make a decision, go or not. I opened the booking page of an airline, selected a flight and filled all the info, then I stopped at the checkout button. I gave myself 5 seconds to decide, so I started to count from 1 to 5, and I made it at the last second, I booked the ticket without thinking anymore. I had one month until my flight departed, so I tried to prepare as much as I could. At this moment I’m asking myself why I needed to prepare that much? huh!! because it was the first time, and we always feel stupid when we recall what we did in the past. That one month was damn long, I felt like 1 year, I counted every single day to wait for it, so if you haven’t booked a ticket, make sure you have a flight that departs as soon as possible, time may make you change your mind. Once you’re out of it you will realize that it’s not that difficult to be scared a lot. There might be a culture shock if this is your first time going to Asia, try to watch some videos on youtube first to see how Chiang Mai looks like so you know what you should expect to see better. Those books are bullshit, only the office men want to read them and dream in the day, get out of your house, the life will teach you how to survive and work better for free.

Maybe I can help. I got on a plate at 15:40 yesterday on Portland, Oregon, and I’m currently five hours into being a digital nomad in London, UK. Scary? Yes. Worth it? FUCK YES JUST DO IT.

PSA: take everything I say with a grain of salt. Almost everyone else on this forum is more experienced than me.

As with most scary things, the only way to conquer your fear is to do it. You prepare as well as you can (which will never be close to enough), and then you dive into the deep end and learn how to swim.

What’s currently holding you back from booking your plane ticket today, and what are you doing to resolve that?

I was always a wanderer so i never had the whole fear thing. but keep this in mind: you can only control what you can control. the rest you will just deal with when it happens and worrying about it is a waste of your energy. what’s the worst that can happen? you die? well, you went out doing something you dreamed about so that’s not a bad way to go. anything other than death can be dealt with so really no point in worrying about it, IMO.

Hi Eddie,

As you keep going, the fear will fade. As with anything risky in life, it feels a bit crazy at first. But as soon as you start you’ll realize it isn’t as impossible, crazy, or terrifying as it may seem.

You’re lucky. I’m $90k in debt and I’m going off on the same journey as you this Fall. But then again, I like to live life on the edge. Here’s the thing: as long as I’m alive, I’m living proof that someone with less than you can survive.

Hope that helps.